If IBM made toasters
They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six toasters.
If Microsoft made toasters
Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh 15000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that lets you control how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances to find out who made them. Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good bread only works with their toasters.
If Apple made toasters
It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier.
If Fisher Price made toasters
"Baby's First Toaster" would have a hand-crank that you turn to toast the bread that pops up like a Jack-in-the-box.
If The Rand Corporation made toasters
It would be a large, perfectly smooth and seamless black cube. Every morning there would be a piece of toast on top of it. Their service department would have an unlisted phone number, and the blueprints for the box would be highly classified government documents. The X-Files would have an episode about it.
Does DEC still make toasters?
They made good toasters in the '70s, didn't they?
If Hewlett-Packard made toasters
They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which takes in toast and gives you regular bread.
If Sony made toasters
Their Personal Toasting Device, which would be barely larger than the single piece of bread it is meant to toast, can be conveniently attached to a your belt.
If Cray made toasters
They would cost $16 million but would be faster than any other single-slice toaster in the world.
If Thinking Machines made toasters
You would be able to toast 64,000 thousand pieces of bread at the same time.
If Timex made toasters
They would be cheap and small quartz-crystal wrist toasters that take a licking and keep on toasting.
If Radio Shack made toasters
The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it, and you would be able to buy all the parts to build your own toaster.
If K-Tel sold toasters
They would not be available in stores, and you would get a free set of Ginsu knives
Trabant - reklamace
Zwickau, 23. 9. 1985